Shut yo' mouth!

Unless you've been completely unplugged from all sources of media this week, you've no doubt heard all of the fluff surrounding Paula Deen.  It seems she made some comments a few years back (okay, like 10 or 15 years ago) that were racially offensive, and those statements have come back to haunt her in a big way.  Personally, I don't think Ms. Deen's statements warrant her termination from Food Network and from Smithfield.  I agree they were racist and inappropriate.  But do the decisionmaking execs  really think that none of their other celebrity hosts/spokespeople have ever made inappropriate comments?  (Have they ever watched "Dinner Impossible" with Robert Irvine?????)  She owned up to her mistake and issued a timely apology.  I have to respect her for that.

So there are several ways I could go with this.  From my perspective, this is a lesson in the power of the tongue.  How are the words we say perceived by others?  How do our words impact the hearts of those around us?

My husband and I had an argument today.  We don't argue often, but when we do, I am not nice.  I usually have to repent for something (or several things) I said, usually in anger.  Of course, I am working on this, but today I failed miserably, and so I had to apologize.  I know all of the applicable Bible verses about my speech, you know, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue" and all that - there are just days that I'm not good at living them out.  I'm sure you have days like that too, with your kids or with a co-worker, or with the server at your favorite restaurant who didn't get your order right.

Speaking of food, I don't have to tell you the power of salt when it's used in the kitchen.  It brings out the natural flavors of foods, and someone once said it makes food "acceptable."  Whether you're the one doing the cooking or doing the tasting, you always know when salt is missing.  It's no different with our words.  When something in our conversation with others is missing, chances are we need to add salt to make it "acceptable."

"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." (Colossians 4:6, NKJV)

Now let's read it in The Message version:
"Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out."

The only difference between Paula Deen and me is that I do not (presently) have a national platform, nor do I have a television/radio contract or corporate sponsorship.  The whole world knows that Ms. Deen spoke irreverently of another race; no one would ever know how I spoke to my husband today (had I not admitted it here).  Being the everyday citizen that I am does not pardon me - or you - from spewing words that do anything other than build up and encourage another person in our sphere of influence.  The attention on Ms. Deen in the last few days has made me examine myself and how I speak to (and about!) others.  Perhaps her example - and mine - can do the same for you.

Ears to hear

Is it possible that it's been so long since my last post?  I could give you all the reasons why I haven't posted - but you're not really interested in excuses.  You're looking for truth.  Authenticity. So here you go.

My greatest fear in starting this blog was that I would run out of things to write about.  And in these weeks since my previous post, I felt like I had nothing to say.  Or maybe it was that I had no time to write, you know, May is a busy month for schoolteachers in Florida.

Upon reflection, it turns out that writing wasn't my problem - listening was.  It wasn't that I had no time to write - I did not make time to listen.  

Ouch.

The kitchen is a great place to have conversation. A few years ago, I was cooking every Sunday for our young adults' ministry, and every week some of the young adults would join me in the kitchen to prepare.  Many times our prep work included deep life talks - you know, the kinds of things you feel safe talking about while you're chopping peppers because you don't actually have to make eye contact with the person to whom you're making yourself vulnerable.  It was a non-threatening environment.

But when I'm in the kitchen by myself, often I get into my "cooking zone" where I'm so focused on what I'm doing that anything else is a distraction.  My husband or son will come in and start talking to me, and before I know it they're gone and I'm wondering what we just discussed (or what I just agreed to!).  Or I'll put Joyce Meyer's broadcast on the computer so I can listen while I cook.  More times than I can count, I've had to rewind the video because I missed so much of what she said.

Do you behave the same way when it comes to listening for the voice of God?  I do!  Do you consider His whispers a distraction?  I'm afraid I have - unwittingly, but I have.  Are you so busy multitasking that you don't stop to listen? Guilty.

I'm working on it.