The Struggle is Real!

I love food.

There.  I said it.  I love food.  I love eating food.  I love watching shows about food.  I love reading about food.  I love cooking food.

You'll tell me that I'm obsessed.  I'll tell you that the appropriate term is that I'm a foodie.   You'll say I have a food addiction.  I'll say....

You're right.  I AM addicted to food.  I use it to celebrate, to manage stress, to show love, to comfort myself or others, to feel in control of something...the list goes on.  Plus, God has apparently gifted me to cook and bake.  (I've even been paid to do that a few times.)  Surely this can't be a problem, right?

The scale and the mirror say, Yes.  It's a problem.

I was in the kitchen putting lunches together for my husband and me this week, carefully measuring out some crackers and feeling resentful that I had to be so judicious as to measure the amount I was placing into baggies.  "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels," I reminded myself. (This is the mantra I dutifully repeated at the end of Weight Watchers meetings more times than I care to count.)

That's when it hit me - and I know it was the Holy Spirit who brought this to light - I don't know what thin feels like.  I've struggled with my weight all of my life.  I've never, ever been close to anything that resembles thinness, so how can I know what good feelings come with being thin?  I can imagine how great that must feel, but I know for sure how terrific it feels to eat  ______________(fill in the blank) because I've experienced it.  I've never experienced being thin.

Recently a friend invited me to join an online Bible/book study with Proverbs 31 Ministries involving Lysa Terkeurst's Made to Crave.  This is not a diet book, but a study that helps women find their satisfaction in God rather than in food.  Written by someone who has walked this path ahead of us, there is an amazing vulnerability in Lysa's writing.  Here are some of the things I can look forward to in this study, as listed on the Proverbs 31 Ministries website (www.proverbs31.org):

-Break the cycle of “I’ll start again on Monday,” and feel good about yourself today.
-Stop agonizing over numbers on the scale and make peace with your body.
-Replace rationalization that leads to diet failure with wisdom that leads to victory.
-Reach your healthy goals and grow closer to God through the process.

I bought the book and signed up for the online study along with thousands of other women.  In a way, I find it sad that so many of God's daughters feel so awful about themselves because of their weight - but at the same time, I'm comforted by the thought that I am not alone in this.  And neither are you.  Maybe food isn't your thing.  Maybe you satisfy your cravings with other things - Facebook.  TV.  Shopping.  Alcohol.  Whatever it is, you were made to crave God, not stuff.  This study can help you, too.  Interested?  There's still time to join in!  Check it out here.

So there you have it.  I've gone public with my struggle.  If you see me eating something you don't think I should be eating, please avoid judging me.  Pray for me instead.  And know that My Father and I, we've got this.

One more night with the frogs

I hate frogs.  

They hide out in the most inconvenient of places.  They are sticky, jumpy when startled and I'm pretty sure they are blind, too.  The science teacher at my school (who has rescued me from small frogs in my classroom several times) tells me that they really are harmless and I shouldn't be so afraid of them.  Whatever.  I keep a broom in my classroom just for the purpose of shooting these unwanted creatures out the door like a hockey player sends a puck down the ice.

So this is why I have always found the account of Pharaoh, the children of Israel, and the plagues so creepy.  One of the plagues sent upon Pharaoh and all of Egypt was a plague of frogs.  We read about it in Exodus 8:1-14.  God warned Pharaoh that if he didn't release God's people, the country would swarm with frogs.  This is how The Message reads (verses 1-4):

"God said to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh and tell him, ‘God’s Message: Release my people so they can worship me. If you refuse to release them, I’m warning you, I’ll hit the whole country with frogs. The Nile will swarm with frogs—they’ll come up into your houses, into your bedrooms and into your beds, into your servants’ quarters, among the people, into your ovens and pots and pans. They’ll be all over you, all over everyone—frogs everywhere, on and in everything!’”"

Eww.  You know I love to cook, so the thought of frogs in my kitchen just makes me squirm!  (Let's not even think about frogs in the bed.)  Well, Pharaoh is hard-headed and Egypt is overcome with frogs.  Finally, Pharaoh relents and asks Moses to ask God to remove the frogs.  Moses agrees and asks when Pharaoh would like him to pray (verses 8-10):

"Pharaoh called in Moses and Aaron and said, “Pray to God to rid us of these frogs. I’ll release the people so that they can make their sacrifices and worship God.”

Moses said to Pharaoh, “Certainly. Set the time. When do you want the frogs out of here, away from your servants and people and out of your houses? You’ll be rid of frogs except for those in the Nile.”

“Make it tomorrow.”

What????

"Moses said, “Tomorrow it is—so you’ll realize that there is no God like our God. The frogs will be gone. You and your houses and your servants and your people, free of frogs. The only frogs left will be the ones in the Nile.” (verse 11)

Pharaoh decided to spend one more night with those frogs in his house...his kitchen...his bedroom.  Listen, if I had a plague of anything in my house, and had the promise that I could be rid of it, you can bet that my answer would be, "NOW!"  So, why don't I?  

Let me explain.

Last night at a women's event, I heard a message from Christine Caine, well known Australian preacher and all-around amazing woman of God.  She spoke from this passage and exhorted us to get rid of the frogs we are still living with as daughters of God.  Frogs like shame...guilt...fear...doubt...insecurity...the list goes on.  We DON'T HAVE to live one more night with the frogs!  We can leave them at the foot of the Cross and be free.

Yes, it is that simple.  I realize that I don't know what you've done and what you've been through, and you don't know what I've done and what I've been through.  But that doesn't matter.  Your history doesn't have to determine your destiny - God is the author of your story, and He's still writing!  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  His love is unfailing.  His grace is sufficient.  His forgiveness is freely offered.  Nothing I have done or been through, or that you have done or been through, none of that changes who God is.  He is our Father who longs for us to see ourselves through the rose-colored glasses of the blood of Jesus, His Son (thank you Christine for that visual).  We must build our lives on the truth of God's Word, not the tainted pieces of our pasts.

So, in the words of Christine Caine, "When the world looks at you, do they see frogs or freedom?"  Don't waste another moment like Pharaoh did! Pray that frog out of your house - out of your life - today.

New Year, New Look, New Name, New Start

Welcome to 2014!  Are you excited about the year ahead?  No?  That's okay.  I've had to force myself to feel excited.  Some days it's hard to read all of the social networking posts by people who really, really "feel" this new year thing.  I just don't feel it.  And I felt terrible about that until I read a Facebook post by a young man who was home on leave from his missionary work overseas.  He commented on the fact that our calendar is man-made and is somewhat of an artificial way to keep our lives in order.  While God does operate in times and seasons,  He is not ruled by the turn of a page on our day-timer.  I love how my young friend expressed it:

"...And as for resolutions.... there is only one January 1st per year... but there is also only 1 May 23rd per year as well. Each second is like a snowflake. No two are the same. Though each one seems small and insignificant...each one is a totally unique masterpiece. Every second is a chance to turn for the better... Every breath is a chance! And as for personal change, when we yield to Christ, we have the Holy Spirit come into us. He brings the change at all times, in all seasons, and through all circumstances. Time is not a valid excuse in the eyes of God. His love is here and His love is now."

This is so powerful.  Every second is new.  Every breath is fresh.  Every day is a new day - another chance to live the life that God has designed for us, another opportunity to influence our world for His purposes, one more untarnished start.  We don't have to wait for January 1st.  I can start posting on this blog today, January 4th, I don't have to waste another year, another month (it's been 5 since my last post!) or even another moment.  This excites me - or at the very least, motivates me to move forward.

Do you feel it yet?

Whatever it is you haven't done, haven't said, haven't tried, haven't gotten excited about - now is your time.  Do it.  Say it.  Try it.  Get excited about it.  Go on with God.  It's a new day.