The Struggle is Real!

I love food.

There.  I said it.  I love food.  I love eating food.  I love watching shows about food.  I love reading about food.  I love cooking food.

You'll tell me that I'm obsessed.  I'll tell you that the appropriate term is that I'm a foodie.   You'll say I have a food addiction.  I'll say....

You're right.  I AM addicted to food.  I use it to celebrate, to manage stress, to show love, to comfort myself or others, to feel in control of something...the list goes on.  Plus, God has apparently gifted me to cook and bake.  (I've even been paid to do that a few times.)  Surely this can't be a problem, right?

The scale and the mirror say, Yes.  It's a problem.

I was in the kitchen putting lunches together for my husband and me this week, carefully measuring out some crackers and feeling resentful that I had to be so judicious as to measure the amount I was placing into baggies.  "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels," I reminded myself. (This is the mantra I dutifully repeated at the end of Weight Watchers meetings more times than I care to count.)

That's when it hit me - and I know it was the Holy Spirit who brought this to light - I don't know what thin feels like.  I've struggled with my weight all of my life.  I've never, ever been close to anything that resembles thinness, so how can I know what good feelings come with being thin?  I can imagine how great that must feel, but I know for sure how terrific it feels to eat  ______________(fill in the blank) because I've experienced it.  I've never experienced being thin.

Recently a friend invited me to join an online Bible/book study with Proverbs 31 Ministries involving Lysa Terkeurst's Made to Crave.  This is not a diet book, but a study that helps women find their satisfaction in God rather than in food.  Written by someone who has walked this path ahead of us, there is an amazing vulnerability in Lysa's writing.  Here are some of the things I can look forward to in this study, as listed on the Proverbs 31 Ministries website (www.proverbs31.org):

-Break the cycle of “I’ll start again on Monday,” and feel good about yourself today.
-Stop agonizing over numbers on the scale and make peace with your body.
-Replace rationalization that leads to diet failure with wisdom that leads to victory.
-Reach your healthy goals and grow closer to God through the process.

I bought the book and signed up for the online study along with thousands of other women.  In a way, I find it sad that so many of God's daughters feel so awful about themselves because of their weight - but at the same time, I'm comforted by the thought that I am not alone in this.  And neither are you.  Maybe food isn't your thing.  Maybe you satisfy your cravings with other things - Facebook.  TV.  Shopping.  Alcohol.  Whatever it is, you were made to crave God, not stuff.  This study can help you, too.  Interested?  There's still time to join in!  Check it out here.

So there you have it.  I've gone public with my struggle.  If you see me eating something you don't think I should be eating, please avoid judging me.  Pray for me instead.  And know that My Father and I, we've got this.